Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Bloomington's Best Betrayal

I didn’t want to be there
In the dishonest fluorescent glow
Of a Steak and Shake parking lot
Fanning the fires of another.
After flirting over milkshakes,
Her mouth was convulsive and tart.
I relished the taste of her tongue
With the knowledge I could transmute
Bitterness into desire, on the fly.
But I swear,
I didn’t want to be there.

I wanted to be with you,
But we drank our coffee too.
Bloomington’s Best Betrayal
Served by a disinterested college girl
Who lacked the aplomb
Of her televised counterparts.
I thought of you.
Believe it, ‘cause it’s true.
Your home was two miles away
And I wondered if my scream
Could cover such a space.
I would shout
You pushed me away.
It’s your fault that I’m here.

I followed her home
In a cloud of unknowing
And though I didn’t want to be there,
I took her nonetheless
Into an icy thread of unsparing lust.
As she thrashed wildly with me,
I hissed there would be no other
Until that frozen thread unraveled
And its murky promise dissolved.

I didn’t want to be there,
I wanted to be with you
And wept in another woman’s bed,
You can believe it, ‘cause it’s true.
We lay awake until the dawn,
The stain of betrayal between us,
Like grudging penitents
Discovering the scope of our sin.
And since I didn’t want to be there,
I would not see her again.

Bring me another coffee
To thin the filth and bile
That inflames my stomach
When I recall my guile.

This is the poem for when all else fails
To blacken my tears
And the paper cross I climb
To show my love of nails.
This is the flavor of my betrayal
That I still taste when I insist
It was you who left me in the end.

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